


letting go

by sepiapages



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Comatose Jack, Talks of Death, caring for a drunken friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 15:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17748158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sepiapages/pseuds/sepiapages
Summary: Henrik wants to help… but he’s only one man, wracked with guilt of his own.





	letting go

Henrik found him in the same place as always. The house reeked of alcohol and sweat, a stale stench that clung to everything. Chase was slumped in the couch, nursing a glass of amber. 

“Chase…” Henrik sighed. He picked up the blanket pooled on the floor and draped it across the back of the couch, partially folded. 

“You’re lucky they haven’t invented smell-o-vision yet,” he joked, testing the waters. He checked Chase’s eyes as he sat down next to his friend. “You need to shower, buddy.” 

Chase barely seemed to notice his presence. His eyes stared, glazed over, into the corner. He only blinked and blew a breath out his nose. 

Henrik put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“No.” The response was hardly audible. Still, Henrik paused and sighed again.

“Chase, please. I’m taking you home. We never should have left you alone here.”

“I said  _ no.”  _ Chase was looking straight at Henrik this time. His gaze didn’t last long, though, and soon he slipped back to staring at the bottle on the table. “I… still have another video to do.”

Henrik pursed his lips. “If that slur in your speech is anything to go by, you’re in no state to film.” Chase didn’t reply. “Come on. At least let me clean you up.” 

Despite the protest, it wasn’t difficult to hoist the drunk friend up onto his shoulders and carry him like a ragdoll to the bathroom. Henrik sat him down and propped him against the wall while he went to turn on the shower. He stuck the trash bin in his lap for safe measure. 

“Do you want a shower or a bath?”

Chase stared ahead blankly. His fingertips rested limply on the bin, only friction keeping it from falling off. 

“Fine. You’re getting a shower.” A few minutes passed. Henrik continued checking the water temperature until it seemed adequately warm. “All right. Get your clothes off.”

The bin clattered to the floor, as did Chase’s arms. He slipped a few more inches down the wall. 

Henrik pressed his fingers into his eyes. He groaned. “Chase Brody. Please. Do not make me strip you.”

The drunken mess on the floor offered a grunt, but slowly he pushed himself into a position to pull off his shirt. It used to be a light blue, but had been stained many times and turned into a mottled mess. It, too, stank. 

“Have you even…?” Henrik stopped himself. “No. Nevermind. We’ll deal with that later. Keep going.”

Eventually, it was evident Chase needed Henrik to get the rest of his clothes off. It was too rancid and frustrating to leave room for bashfulness. Henrik stuffed his friend in the bathtub, conceding to let him sit down. It was better that than him falling and breaking his skull open. They couldn’t handle  _ another  _ one in the hospital. At least, not yet… 

Slowly, the smell dissipated. Chase groaned and rubbed his eyes. 

“Henry, it’s cold,” he whined. His voice was quiet under the rush of the water.

The doctor cracked a smile at the old nickname. “I know, but it’ll wake you up. Here.” He handed the soap over. “Lather up and get ready to stand up.”

Somehow, the two managed to finish the process without any slips. Chase stood shivering, wrapped tightly in a towel, and waited for Henrik’s next instructions. He looked very small. Henrik chewed his lip. 

“Okay. I’ll… be right back.” 

He slipped out the door and hurried down the hall. He needed to find new clothes. Would there be any clean clothes in this house at all? He found himself at the last door. He hesitated only for a moment. Then, he walked briskly in and made a beeline for the bureau. He pulled the drawers open a little too fast and they made a sharp squeal. He winced. 

The drawer was filled with clothes, all folded neatly. But… they weren’t… 

“Henry?”

Henrik whipped around to see Chase in the doorway, still wrapped up and dripping. 

“Why are you…?” His gaze began to wander, but suddenly stopped and snapped to the floor. He stared fixed at it as he continued. “I don’t stay in here. I use the guest room.”

“Right,” Henrik breathed. “Of course.” That made sense. Why in the world would Chase use  _ this  _ room?

He swallowed hard. Neither spoke. Then, Henrik turned and closed the drawer with a hard shove. “Right. Let’s go.” He pushed past Chase quickly and closed the door behind them. 

Chase dried and redressed. Henrik went into the guest bedroom and gathered as many clothes as he could into a small duffel bag. Then, he took his best guess at what items Chase might want and put them into a backpack. He left the bedding and the bottles of alcohol alone. 

Chase wandered into the room. He was rubbing his hair with the towel when he whined. “Henrik, what are you doing? What are you doing with my stuff?” 

“You’re coming back with me. You can’t keep doing this.” Henrik didn’t look as he replied. He held up a notebook. “Do you want to bring this?”

“Wha-- no! I’m not going anywhere! I haven’t prepped videos. You don’t have a rig. I--”

“Chase, this has to  _ stop.”  _

Henrik stuffed the notebook into the backpack and zipped it up. He turned and folded his arms. “You’re coming. End of discussion.”

Chase threw the towel down and crossed his arms as well. “No! You can’t tell me what to do. I’m not a child.”

“You’re a mess! You’re certainly not acting any better than one!” Henrik spat back.

“It’s under control!”

“It is  _ not,  _ and I’m not arguing this any longer.” Henrik picked up the backpack. 

Chase stormed over and tore the bag from Henrik’s hands. “I said  _ no!”  _ He stared hard at the doctor, despite his head screaming in pain. “You know what I promised. I’m keeping the channel going until he gets back. I’m doing  _ fine.  _ I just… had a bad day.” His gaze wavered and fell to Henrik’s chest.

Henrik ground his fingers into his temple. “Chase,  _ please.  _ This can’t go on. We’re…” He swallowed and breathed hard. “We’re letting him go.”

_ “What?”  _

Chase shook. His knees threatened to give out. He stumbled back and fell onto the bed. “You… you can’t do that! He’s still in there! He’s gonna come out of it. I still--”

Henrik cried, “Stop!” He was shaking too. He wrung his hands. “I know, okay? I know. But… I’ve been there. Every day. Every  _ fucking  _ day. You haven’t seen him. You hardly even get out of this damn house!” he spat. “Signe left! She left because this is  _ too much.  _ You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep this lie going. You have to let go. We all do.”

Chase gaped at him. “Wha- No! I can’t! I made a  _ promise!”  _

“To a dead man!”

“He’s not dead!”

“How  _ alive  _ is he? There’s nothing there. This isn’t  _ alive.  _ This just  _ isn’t dead.  _ Yet.” 

“How could you say that?” Chase lunged at his friend and toppled him over. “How could you just  _ give up?”  _ The two fell to the ground with a hard  _ thump.  _ Chase beat Henrik’s chest with his fists.

“Stop it!” Henrik shoved Chase off him. Despite everything, he slumped off like Jell-O. “I’m not! I’m doing what has to be done. It’s been long enough.”

Chase pushed himself up on his hands. He turned and stared at him, eyes wide and watery like a deer. “How… how can you say that? How can you just…?” His throat seized. A sob ripped out of him. “I can’t! How can I just tell them…? After all this time…? They’ll be devastated! They’ll fall apart…” 

Henrik wiped his own tears away with a huff. He stood up. “It’s the truth. They deserve to know the truth.” 

“But… I can’t…” Chase cried. 

“But if not now, Chase,” Henrik pushed, “then when?”

“I… I don’t know!” Chase shook with another bawl. “I don’t know. Never.”

Henrik sighed. “You can’t keep doing this forever. You  _ can’t.  _ The line between you and  _ Jacksepticeye  _ has become so blurred, I’m not sure you know who you are anymore. You need it too.”

They sat quietly for a while with Chase’s shuddering sobs breaking the silence every other minute. Henrik sat on the bed. He looked away, settling on the doorway. Chase curled himself in a ball and leaned against the bed. 

“I’m sorry,” Henrik whispered. “I really am.”

“He’s sti-ill in the-ere,” Chase hiccuped. “Please. Please don’t kill him.”

Henrik winced. He dug his nails into his palms.

\---

The drive back was quiet and just as tense. They pulled in the driveway and Henrik carried the bags out. Chase dragged himself up the steps with his hands stuck in his sweatshirt and his hoodie pulled up and over his face. He still sniffed every few minutes and let out a whimper. 

Chase didn’t make it to the bed. He collapsed on the couch and refused to move. Henrik didn’t push it. 

The doctor sat on the end and watched over his friend.

“I know it’s hard,” he started quietly. “With no hard cutoff to signal the end, you… you can’t put your hope down. Because there’s a  _ chance…  _ however small, it’s there. You can’t give up on your best friend…” His throat squeezed. He coughed. “But you have me. I’m still here.” 

Chase pulled his hoodie tighter closed.

**Author's Note:**

> i should use Chase as a vent character tbh
> 
> also how the FUCK are you supposed to tag Henrik


End file.
